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October 06 Let's Have Fun ;) if u think I'm sexy...come and join me now and let's have fun baby ....i'll make your fantasy
come true!.cumm inJune 01 A GOLF STORY My wife told me it was about time
that I learned to play golf . . . you know, golf . . . that's the game where you
chase a little ball all over the country when you are too old to chase
women. So, I went to see Mr. Jones and asked him if he would teach me how to play. He said, "Sure, you've got balls don't you?" "Yes, but sometimes on cold mornings they are hard to find." "Bring them to the clubhouse tomorrow morning and we will tee off." "What's tee off?" "It's a golf term and we have to tee off in front of the clubhouse." "Not for me," I said. "You can tee off in front of the clubhouse if you want, but I'll tee off behind the barn somewhere." "No, no, a tee is a little thing about the size of your finger." "Yeah, I've got one of those." "Well, you stick it in the ground and put your ball on top of it." "You play golf sitting down? I always thought you stood up and walked around." "You do, you're standing up when you put your ball on the tee." Well folks, I thought that was stretching things a bit too far and I said so. He said, "You've got a bag haven't you?" "Sure." "You're balls are in it, aren't they?" "Of course," I told him. "Well, can't you open your bag and take one out?" "I suppose I could, but I'll be damned if I am going to." "Don't you have a zipper on your bag?" "No, I am the old fashioned type." "Do you know how to hold your club?" Well, after 65 years, I should have some sort of an idea and I told him so. He said, "You take your club in both hands . . . " Well folks, I knew right then that he didn't know what he was talking about. Then he said, "Swing it over your shoulder . . ." No, no, that's not me at all. That's my brother he's talking about. He asked, "How do your hold your club?" And before I thought about it, I said, "With two fingers." He said that wasn't right, got behind me, put two arms around me, and said for me to bend over and he would show me. Well, he couldn't catch me there for nothing. I didn't spend four years in the Navy for nothing. He said, "You hit the ball with your club and it soars and soars. . ." I could well imagine that. ". . . and when you're on the green . . ." "What's the green?" "That's where the hole is." "Sure you're not color blind?" "Then you take your putter in your hands. . ." "What's a putter?" "That's the smallest club made." "That's what I got, a putter." "And with it, you put your ball into the hole." I corrected him, "You mean the putter." "No, the ball. The hole isn't big enough for the ball and putter too." Well, I've seen holes big enough for a horse and wagon. "Then," he said, "after you finish with the first hole, you go on to the next 17." Well, he certainly wasn't talking about me. After two holes I'm shot to hell. "You mean you can't make 18 holes in one day?" "Hell no! It takes me 18 days to make one hole! Besides, how do I know when I am in the 18th hole?" "The flag will go up!" Well, golfing is not for me. Web Cam Chat February 18 THE DIETERS GUIDE TO WEIGHT LOSS DURING SEX
December 29 Noisy Sex Sessions Land Neighbour in Court A woman who made life hell for her neighbours with noisy sex sessions has been
fined.For two years Kerry Norris, 29, and boyfriend Adam Hinton regularly embarrassed neighbours with their all-night love-making. The couple yelled out obscenities while the headboard would bang against the wall until 6am. This week Norris was prosecuted by Brighton and Hove City Council for ignoring a noise abatement notice. Next door neighbour Richard Powell told magistrates: "The headboard bangs on the wall as they are having sex and it keeps me awake all night. "I have had to take days off work because of the lack of sleep." Richard's wife Sarah said she had to move her children to the front room of their home because of the noise. And Michelle Tyrrell said her four year-old daughter was kept awake by the sounds of the couple having sex. "My daughter now wets the bed and has nightmares because of what she heard," she said Norris would also sunbathe naked in the garden in full view of workmen. Tony Waller, defending Norris said she was getting the blame for noise made by other tenants. Norris, a mother of one, insisted: "I have a normal sex life" But magistrates fined her £200 plus £100 costs, and told her to pay a £15
"victim surcharge".(by Sarah Knapton) |
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