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    November 02

    Amateur on Cam

      To See more -->Click Here<--
    October 06

    Let's Have Fun ;)

    if u think I'm sexy...come and join me now and let's have fun baby....i'll make your fantasy come true!.cumm in
    June 01

    A GOLF STORY

    My wife told me it was about time that I learned to play golf . . . you know, golf . . . that's the game where you chase a little ball all over the country when you are too old to chase women.

    So, I went to see Mr. Jones and asked him if he would teach me how to play.

    He said, "Sure, you've got balls don't you?"

    "Yes, but sometimes on cold mornings they are hard to find."

    "Bring them to the clubhouse tomorrow morning and we will tee off."

    "What's tee off?"

    "It's a golf term and we have to tee off in front of the clubhouse."

    "Not for me," I said. "You can tee off in front of the clubhouse if you want, but I'll tee off behind the barn somewhere."

    "No, no, a tee is a little thing about the size of your finger."

    "Yeah, I've got one of those."

    "Well, you stick it in the ground and put your ball on top of it."

    "You play golf sitting down? I always thought you stood up and walked around."

    "You do, you're standing up when you put your ball on the tee."

    Well folks, I thought that was stretching things a bit too far and I said so.

    He said, "You've got a bag haven't you?"

    "Sure."

    "You're balls are in it, aren't they?"

    "Of course," I told him.

    "Well, can't you open your bag and take one out?"

    "I suppose I could, but I'll be damned if I am going to."

    "Don't you have a zipper on your bag?"

    "No, I am the old fashioned type."

    "Do you know how to hold your club?"

    Well, after 65 years, I should have some sort of an idea and I told him so.

    He said, "You take your club in both hands . . . "

    Well folks, I knew right then that he didn't know what he was talking about.

    Then he said, "Swing it over your shoulder . . ."

    No, no, that's not me at all. That's my brother he's talking about.

    He asked, "How do your hold your club?"

    And before I thought about it, I said, "With two fingers."

    He said that wasn't right, got behind me, put two arms around me, and said for me to bend over and he would show me. Well, he couldn't catch me there for nothing. I didn't spend four years in the Navy for nothing.

    He said, "You hit the ball with your club and it soars and soars. . ."

    I could well imagine that.

    ". . . and when you're on the green . . ."

    "What's the green?"

    "That's where the hole is."

    "Sure you're not color blind?"

    "Then you take your putter in your hands. . ."

    "What's a putter?"

    "That's the smallest club made."

    "That's what I got, a putter."

    "And with it, you put your ball into the hole."

    I corrected him, "You mean the putter."

    "No, the ball. The hole isn't big enough for the ball and putter too."

    Well, I've seen holes big enough for a horse and wagon.

    "Then," he said, "after you finish with the first hole, you go on to the next 17."

    Well, he certainly wasn't talking about me. After two holes I'm shot to hell.

    "You mean you can't make 18 holes in one day?"

    "Hell no! It takes me 18 days to make one hole! Besides, how do I know when I am in the 18th hole?"

    "The flag will go up!"

    Well, golfing is not for me.
    Web Cam Chat
    February 18

    THE DIETERS GUIDE TO WEIGHT LOSS DURING SEX

    ACTIVITY / CALORIES BURNED

    REMOVING CLOTHES..

    With partners' consent 12
    Without partners' consent 187

    UNHOOKING BRA..

    Using two calm hands 7
    Using one trembling hand 96

    GETTING INTO BED..

    Lifting partner 15
    Dragging partner along floor 16
    Using skateboard 3

    ACHIEVING ERECTION..

    For a normal healthy man 2.5
    For a normal healthy woman 549
    Losing erection 0.5
    Searching for it 115

    PUTTING ON RUBBER..

    With erection 1.5
    Without erection 300

    INSERTING DIAPHRAGM..

    If the woman who does it is:
    Experienced 6
    Inexperienced 72

    If a man does it, regardless of experience 680
    (add 5 calories for retrieving it from across the room!)
    With womans consent 50
    Without womans consent 300

    INSERTION..

    If woman is ready 0.5
    If man is not 274

    ORGASM..

    Real 27
    Faked 160

    POSSIBLE SIDE-EFFECTS..

    Bouncing 7
    Sliding around 9
    Serious skidding 12
    Whiplash 27

    ORGASM INTENSITY SCALE..

    Shoes flew off 35
    Expression didn't change 0.5
    Orchestra played 6
    Birds sang:
    Large birds 7
    Small birds 3
    Earth moved 30
    Contact lenses bounced off ceiling 50

    PULLING OUT..

    After orgasm 0.5
    Just before orgasm 500

    PENIS ENVY..

    For woman 3
    For man 72

    AGGRAVATION FACTORS..

    Partner keeps showing you his/her plants 5
    Partner insists on cuddling dog/cat 14
    Partner is taking phone calls 7
    Partner is making phone calls 40

    GETTING CAUGHT..

    By partners' spouse 60
    By your spouse 60.5
    Trying to explain 165
    Trying to remain calm 100
    Leaping out of bed 25
    Getting dressed in one large motion 300
    Thanking partner quickly 2

    POSITIONS ACCORDING TO NATIONALITY..

    Italian..man on top, woman in kitchen 26
    Russian..woman on bottom, man getting permission 55
    English..side by side with lights off 10
    Scots..woman on top, man on whisky 69
    American..both on top 60

    POSITIONS ACCORDING TO PREFERENCE..

    Missionary 45
    Soixante neuf 69
    Doggie fashion 120
    Doggie fashion (with barking and yelping) 150
    December 29

    Noisy Sex Sessions Land Neighbour in Court

    PhotobucketA woman who made life hell for her neighbours with noisy sex sessions has been fined.

    For two years Kerry Norris, 29, and boyfriend Adam Hinton regularly embarrassed neighbours with their all-night love-making.

    The couple yelled out obscenities while the headboard would bang against the wall until 6am.

    This week Norris was prosecuted by Brighton and Hove City Council for ignoring a noise abatement notice.

    Next door neighbour Richard Powell told magistrates: "The headboard bangs on the wall as they are having sex and it keeps me awake all night.

    "I have had to take days off work because of the lack of sleep."

    Richard's wife Sarah said she had to move her children to the front room of their home because of the noise.

    And Michelle Tyrrell said her four year-old daughter was kept awake by the sounds of the couple having sex.

    "My daughter now wets the bed and has nightmares because of what she heard," she said

    Norris would also sunbathe naked in the garden in full view of workmen.

    Tony Waller, defending Norris said she was getting the blame for noise made by other tenants.

    Norris, a mother of one, insisted: "I have a normal sex life"

    But magistrates fined her £200 plus £100 costs, and told her to pay a £15 "victim surcharge".(by Sarah Knapton)

    July 30

    Love

    "Love is a severe mental disorder."

    July 18

    Hot and Wild Sex

    Hot, Wild and sexy girl, who like real wild actions, come here u wont regret!Wink
    July 15

    So sweet

    When i tell u here, i am
    when i tell u i care, i do…
    when i tell u i’ll never Leave u, i wont.
    Sum it all…i’ll b here, i’ll never get tired
    of caring here 4u & i won’t leave u.Embarrassed
    July 11

    HOT


    When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
    But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
    Even though this might bruise you
    Let it burn
    Let it burn
    Gotta let it burn

    July 07

    About me;)))))

    "I don't see much of Alfred anymore since he got so interested in sex."

    June 20

    Lovely

        Hot single brunette wants to chat, I.m no Diva, nor a Queen. I'm the cuttiest chick u've eva seen

    My Hoemapge

    June 13

    Oh Yeah Baby

    "I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
    June 11

    Searching for a partner;)

    Ready for hot and wild sex I invite you to my webcam session
    I will make you hot,you wont regret!
    June 09

    ;)

    Gonna give you all my love, boy
    My fear is fading fast
    Been saving it all for you
    ’cause only love can last


    June 05

    Enyoj

    Let's shake the cold off and catch the essence of Spring! Spring is not just flowers blooming, butterflies and rain showers. Spring is also about skirts getting shorter, tops tighter and desires stronger ;) And wouldn't it be great if this season lingered on for a while :) Connect to the Spring Fling vibe on Camcontacts.com  and enjoy!!!
    June 02

    Touch my body;)

    Touch my body
    Put me on the floor
    Wrestle me around
    Play with me some more
    Touch my body
    Throw me on the bed
    I just wanna make you feel
    Like you never did.
    Touch my body
    Let me wrap my thighs
    All around your waist
    Just a little taste
    Touch my body
    Know you love my curves
    Come on and give me what I deserve
    And touch my body.
    MY Homepage WinkRed heartRed heartRed heart
    May 30

    Dirty baby

    "If sex doesn't scare the cat, you're not doing it right."

    May 28

    "No sex is better than bad sex."

    "It's the good girls that keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time."
    May 26

    Like a dream

    "You can feel the stars and the infinity of the sky since life, in spite of everything, is like a dream."